Woman Blocks Former Friend With Benefits After He Discovers She Is Getting Married and Accuses Her of Leading Him On

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Aug 21, 2024 10:00 PM EDT

Many people believe having a causal and physical relationship with a friend is great, but I honestly cannot get behind the idea. Maybe it is because I am a hopeless romantic, but I truly believe it either ends with a real relationship, or a disaster. 

If it ends with a relationship, then I guess no harm was done, and it might be a cute story you could tell your kids in the far (far) future. If it ends in a disaster, then, well, you have a disaster to deal with, and everyone involved is probably wishing they never got involved in the first place.

Take this Reddit story as an example of a friends-with-benefits situation that ended up with people wishing it never even happened. OP (original poster), is getting married in two months, and she has to deal with her former friend with benefits, whom she had a 'situationship' with for around 9 years. Even though they were never serious, and ended things years ago, he is still under the impression that they had something special and is now angry that OP is getting married to someone else.

Scroll down to read the full story. After you are done, if you are a hopeless romantic like myself, click here for a collection of funny Disney memes for ladies who still believe in fairytale love stories. 

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  • 01
    FWB angry I'm getting married
    via PeppermintzCandie
  • 02
    For years, I've had an on again off again fwb relationship with a friend I've known since highschool. He set the rules. Told me this is what it is and will never be anything more than that. I accepted those terms.
    via PeppermintzCandie
  • 03
    When he felt like things were getting a little too close for comfort, he spoke up and said that it felt like I was pushing for more and we need a break. I wasn't pushing for more but, no problem. We took a break.
    via PeppermintzCandie
  • 04
    For the most part we accepted it as it was. And if one of us wanted more with someone else, we called it off and left the other alone. But when things went south, we were back to messing around.
    via PeppermintzCandie
  • 05
    This went on for 9 years. The last year, it felt like things were changing. He was more possessive of me. He became more affectionate. When I brought it up that it felt like he was changing our
    via PeppermintzCandie
  • 06
    dynamic, he laughed it off and said he just felt like being a little more affectionate at that moment and not to look more into it.
    via PeppermintzCandie
  • 07
    While out one night he said there was something he wanted to tell me. Something he said he's been feeling but wants to tell me when the time was right. He then booked
    via PeppermintzCandie
  • 08
    a hotel for the weekend and we went on a small vacation together. In the middle he took my hands, looked at me and said it again, "There's something I'm going to say this weekend, but I'm looking for the right time."
    via PeppermintzCandie
  • 09
    The weekend ended and he never said a word about what it was. Shortly later, I had invited him over and found him in my bathroom crushing one of my pain meds. I
    via PeppermintzCandie
  • 10
    immediately confronted him and his response was "You don't really need it." I threw him out and decided it was best to end things all together so I did.
    via PeppermintzCandie
  • 11
    Days later he apologized, said he was in a dark place and swore he was getting help. I told him I hope that he did and wished him luck. Despite my ending it, he continued to peruse the friendship.
    via PeppermintzCandie
  • 12
    I decided I was going to distance myself from him. If he was using, the last thing I needed was that in my life. Everytime he asked to hang out, I told him no. I stopped seeing him. I didn't reach out to him to talk, but he would reach out to me.
    via PeppermintzCandie
  • 13
    Eventually I started seeing someone. When he reached out and asked about us restarting the fwb back up, I told him that I can't, that I have a boyfriend now. He lost it! He started calling me names.
    via PeppermintzCandie
  • 14
    Accused me of leading him on. He said that I betrayed him and I stopped him right there and pointed out that HE was the one that didn't want me as anything more. He didn't want me as a girlfriend and he was the one who
    via PeppermintzCandie
  • 15
    kept slamming the brakes. He never once said he wanted more, never once even said he loved me. If things had changed, he never said anything to me about it. For 9 years I was a friend with benefits and that was that. He called me
    via PeppermintzCandie
  • 16
    more names and blocked me on everything, but he would keep asking my friends about me and my boyfriend. A year later he unblocked me to see how I was. I told him I was fine
    via PeppermintzCandie
  • 17
    and he asked if I was married yet. I stopped talking after that and he went back to asking my friends questions. Now here it is 3 years later and I'm about to get married in 2 months.
    via PeppermintzCandie
  • 18
    Somehow he found out and he's angrily screaming about it to anyone who will listen about how I left him after 9 years for that guy. We were never anything!
    via PeppermintzCandie
  • 19
    I have him blocked and told everyone to stop telling me what he's saying. Stop showing me texts and screenshots and absolutely don't tell him anything about about me. I'm not his business.
    via PeppermintzCandie
  • 20
    Seriously. The audacity of this guy!! Edit*** Yes my future husband knows about him. His response was telling the fwb to grow up and saying it's his fault it took him 9 years to realize the worth in what he had.
    via PeppermintzCandie
  • 21
    Blueroz539 2d ago A+ response from your fiancé!!!!
    via Blueroz539
  • 22
    whatashame_13 • 2d ago Wish you best of luck in your marriage. Does your future husband know about what he is doing? Do you think he can reach out to him man to man and tell him to stop contacting you?
    via whatashame_13
  • 23
    PeppermintzCandie OP.2d ago Yes he does. He knows. He thinks the old fwb is just acting like a child at losing his toy.
    via PeppermintzCandie
  • 24
    Blue-kiwi-breeze • 2d ago I'm looking for only 1 fwb but limited to only 3 hoops with that person. Ain't know way I could deal with a fwb for over 3 months let alone 9 years.
    via Blue-kiwi-breeze
  • 25
    But I'm sorry he kept being hot and cold with you as a backup. Clearly, rules were set, but he started to change and kept it to himself instead of being honest when it happened.
    via Blue-kiwi-breeze
  • 26
    PeppermintzCandie OP.2d ago We weren't together all the time in that 9 years. Sometimes we called it off and seen other people, and when that failed, if we were both single, we went back to the fwb. It was never a problem before until I met my fiance.
    via PeppermintzCandie
  • 27
    CuriousPenguinSocks 2d ago Sounds like you picked a good spouse who knows what's up. I wish you all the luck and hope your old FWB wises up. Honestly, it sounds like user behavior, I hope I'm wrong because I hope he got help but it does sound like that. Could also just be pure entitlement.
    via CuriousPenguinSocks
  • 28
    • PeppermintzCandie OP 2d ago With him. Both lol
    via PeppermintzCandie
  • 29
    avc_791d ago Omg it's sounds like this is going to be me in the future. I'm currently in a FWB situation and we are going into our second year.
    via avc_79
  • 30
    PeppermintzCandie OP • 1d ago Watch for red flags, look for signs. If something seems off, believe me. It is.
    via PeppermintzCandie
  • 31
    Chazkuangshi • 2d ago He insisted on keeping you as a back up option, caught feelings but continued to keep you as a back up option instead of speaking up. Completely on him.
    via Chazkuangshi

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relationship advice marriage friends with benefits drama friends wife relationship-drama reddit story relationships husband wedding advice couples love Reddit dating
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